


happiness

by iwannalovebucky



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Dorks in Love, Happy Natasha, Love, Love Triangles, Multi, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha is loved, Natasha love, One Big Happy Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Trauma, True Love, sad natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 19:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwannalovebucky/pseuds/iwannalovebucky
Summary: Natasha is finally being loved.





	happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This was for an anon on my tumblr @ fan-fic-reblogs

“So you guys really aren’t going to tell me what happened in Budapest?”

Letting yourself fall onto the couch between Nat and Clint you put your feet up on the coffee table.

“Never,” Nat answered without looking away from the TV screen.

“Yeah, where would be the fun in that?”

Clint loved teasing you. And he did it even more when Nat joined him on his mission to mildly annoy you – enough for you to be mad but not enough to make you actually angry.

“You guys are assholes.” You crossed your arms dramatically to underline just how ´mad´ you were at them.

“Oh baby.” Kissing your cheek Nat placed the bowl with popcorn in your lap. How you loved it when she said that. You could listen to her say that over and over again. Or anything else, for that matter.

“See, Nat. She’s not actually mad at you. She loves you too much.” And with that Clint became the sweet boyfriend again, kissing you and then Nat. He held the same love for her in his eyes that you did.

Natasha simply was the backbone of your relationship. Both you and Clint and you marveled at the strength she always had, in every way possible. And you tried to show her that you loved her, appreciated her. For her strength and everything she did, everything she was. She had never talked to you about her time in the Red Room but you knew – you _saw_ how it still affected her. And so did Clint.

That added another mission to your schedule: Give Nat all the love she never received as a child. All the love she deserves.

There were different ways to accomplish that. One time the two of you even made a competition out of it. Though neither of you told Natasha you were both sure that she knew. And _how she loved it_.

Even if she didn’t feel like she deserved all that love she still enjoyed getting it. She loved seeing you come up with gift ideas, she loved you giving her massages, she loved you letting her pick the movie – she loved knowing, feeling that you loved her and that you thought about her.

Every night she would come to be and squeeze her way in between the two of you, with Clint already snorting and you waiting for her. Sometimes you would sandwich Clint and admire him for a bit, sometimes you would just cuddle together and sometimes you gave Nat the space she needed.

It wasn’t always easy to be with her. Sometimes she would shut you out, become numb and angry. But so did you. And so did Clint. It is just something that happens more often when you do the job that you do. But it was okay, you knew how to deal with it by now.

Clint needed days in bed, a good cry, coffee and someone to drag him out of bed and help him get his shit together – in that order.

Nat was a bit more complicated. One of the reasons for that was that she didn’t want to talk to people about her feelings and she knew perfectly how to avoid people if she wanted to. One of the downsides of dating a spy.

“You have to start talking me Nat,” you had told her at some point. You wanted to be compassionate and you didn’t want to pressure her into talking but you were getting frustrated. It was frustrating to have your girlfriend never tell you anything about what was going on in her life and it was frustrating to be pushed away and it hut you to see her like that but not be able to do anything about it.

“We just worry about you, honey,” Clint added.

“I don’t want to.”

“I _know_ you don’t want to but you have to!” Maybe you should have said that a bit calmer. You felt a warm hand on your back. Clint wasn’t the calm one but he would be if neither of you weren’t.

Your eyes met his, encouraging you to try again. They were always soft for his girls.

“I know that it is hard for you to talk about it but it hurts, Nat-“ You could feel your voice cracking, Clint’s hand curling around yours now. “-it hurts to not be a part of your feelings.”

She just stared at you. Blankly. Like she always did when she became distant. She just disconnected with her feelings. She’d rather do that than actually deal with them.

Instead of yelling at her again you just squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate on the feeling of your lungs expanding and contracting.

“Maybe we can just use a code? Like you don’t have to tell me what happened or what you’ re thinking about – I know it can be hard to say those things out loud. But maybe just.. I don’t know. Make up a code for different things. Like-“ God did you feel stupid. Trying to help someone who doesn’t want your help. “-like when it’s about me or Clint being in danger you can just say..” What didn’t sound stupid? “.. say blueberry.” Great job y/n. “And when it’s about the Red Room you can say orange and – just say anything! Okay? Make up any code but _please_ start talking to me!” And now you were crying. Wonderful.

“Okay.” You almost missed her answer. It was a whisper, hurt and insecure. But she loved you. You were reminded of that just then.

The code stuck around, by the way. Whenever one of you had a nightmare, a flashback, a haunting thought, you could tell the others a bit easier now. Nat could never talk about the things that happened to her and she still had to get professional help but a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders already, just by being able to tell others that she wasn’t feeling well. It amazed her how easily you two could make her a little bit happier.

She never expected anything from her life, least of all happiness. And she was right. Her life would never give her anything good – you two did. 


End file.
